Reader Ayra emailed me earlier this week about a little campaign she was launching for a day of declaring “shame free blogging“. Given the recent rise in snarky, highly personal comments criticizing many bloggers’ physical attributes I’ve observed around of late, I felt it would be a good thing to participate. Although I have (thankfully!) had to contend with only a few biting comments about how I look over the years, I think it is really not only rude but just another symptom of the extent of the narrow viewpoint we have towards women’s physical appearance and “beauty” in particular. Who says we all have to have an hourglass figure? Or petite thighs? Or straight teeth? Or small feet? Really? Who?
This issue hits very close to home for me because I have struggled with my appearance and weight for years. In my early twenties this culminated in a bout of anorexia which went on for several years and left me ill, weak and underweight. It was shortly before Sailor Husband and I got married that I finally started to make the effort to love how I was naturally–without bowing to the societal pressure of how I “should” look. Despite what all the magazines say, I will never have a large chest, a smaller bum or flawless skin. I’m me, and I’m honestly happy with it for the first time in a long time. People can take it or leave it how I look, but when someone starts making comments about my or another person’s appearance, that is when it crosses the line. Blogging without shame for being a “real” woman in the fullest sense of the word: myself. That is what womanhood really is–not a set of arbitrary physical rules for beauty. I’m writing this to stand up and say that for the first time in ages I’m happy and (more importantly) thankful with the body and I was given, and feel that it’s time to be a little bit more proactive about taking a stand against society’s warped viewpoint of the female form. More importantly, against the rise of snarky comments against fellow fashion bloggers. (And for clarity’s sake, I’m not talking about critiquing an outfit here–it’s comments of the “you’re fat!” ilk that are unacceptable but have become increasingly prevalent.) Will this change things drastically? Probably not; internet trolls will always be around. But I believe it’s important for every woman to make peace with herself and realize that she is beautiful the way she is.
So, friends, will you join me today in commenting with a few things that you appreciate about your body and love? What makes you proud to be the way you are? Here’s my list:
- I have very wide hips, which are great for balancing groceries or babies (or fabric bolts!!!!) on.
- People have said for years I need to straighten my naturally wavy and frizzy hair, but I like it the way it is. It has character!
- I appreciate that no matter what, my body is highly adaptable. Growing up in the mid-Atlantic region, I was fairly adapted to changing seasons and the biting cold of winter. Now in Florida, I’ve finally become a bit more comfortable with the sub-tropical climate and year-round heat. Something I thought at first I wouldn’t be able to adapt to!
- My face has always been a bit of a full “baby face”, but that’s perfect for smiling and laughing!
Have you ever been shamed online? What was your reaction? What do you love most about yourself?
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What a lovely post
do you mind if I link to this at some point? Oh and I consider myself pear shaped, but my thighs aren’t fat…they’re muscly!
Thank you! Of course I wouldn’t mind at all–I’d be delighted!
♥ Casey
Go you for bravery, Casey!
I’m definitely out of “proper” proportion — noodley arms, but thicker legs and, ahem, kaboose. Although I used to wish for twiggier stems, I love that my strong legs mean I can walk for hours (and do!) and that I can handle those one-legged yoga postures with ease!
My face is freckled which always seems to be a bit of a split school — some love it, some think of them as flaws — happily *I* love them! I think they look cheerful, and one of my personal “signs of summer” is seeing them come out a bit from my winter-white skin!
My hair is super-fine, which means I can’t do all the crazy chunky hairstyles I’m sometimes envious of (especially in fashion blogs!!) but how many of those girls can put their hair up with 3 bobbypins and have it stay out of their face all day? : ) I love that my hair is soft and naturally wavy!
hehe! I love that you pointed out that having more *ahem* “stout” lower limbs makes doing things like yoga poses easy as pie! I recently took up a yoga/pilates blend, and have noticed that having sturdier legs really helps.
♥ Casey
And you have such a nice smile, too!
I have never been shamed online for the way I look. What I love most about myself are my hands. They’re tiny. My 10 year old’s hands are bigger than mine. My fingers are short and my fingernails are not pretty. BUT, they are extremely capable. They knit, sew and cook. They do all these things without complaint. Therefore, I love them, no matter what they look like.
I have very small hands too, Kristina! My sister who is a good 2 1/2″ shorter than I am has hands that are the same size as mine… hehe! I definitely have what I refer to as “farmer hands” as well, but are good for doing handwork and such.
♥ Casey
*hugs*
Thanks, dear!
♥ Casey
Great post! I am and have always been a plus-sized gal. I actually prefer the word voluptuous because it’s such a lush word, like me! I love how no matter what I weigh my waist is always 10 inches smaller than my chest and hips. Even though my oily skin was a pain as a teenager, it keeps me looking 10 years younger than I actually am. My hair is straight and fine, which means that barrettes and headbands slide right off of my head, but it holds a pin-curl really well and allows for many different styles. I also love my eyes and how they change colors depending on what I am wearing.
I love the word voluptuous over all the others too!
I think it definitely sounds more pleasant and feminine. 
♥ Casey
What a great idea! I have noticed the negative and sometimes just downright hateful comments people are leaving some bloggers lately. I don’t get any meanies on my blog, I think because no one reads it. LOL. I used to actually get a lot when I had my Navy blog called The Navy Wife Life. Seems strange that people would be out to harass a military wife, but they would every couple of days I’d get some hateful paragraph from anon persons claiming to either be a former senior chief or a navy wife of 20+ years. LOL all of my bad comments came from people claiming to have been in 20+ years, lol seems strange that after that long they would still be on a kick to seek out drama and start petty crap. LOL. I guess I like my eyes, people say I look like a Disney cartoon. LOL
Isn’t that funny how the meanies/trolls tend to navigate towards certain blogs?!
There is nothing wrong with Disney eyes–I would think they’d be quite striking in a beautiful way!
♥ Casey
What a great post! Sewing has really helped me get in touch with my flaws – and my good points! While I might be very short waisted, I do have good posture! While I may have a large bust which makes buying RTW difficult, I love them, because one day they will feed my children. While I may have tiny feet, I consider them dainty. While my hair is thick and frizzy, I do have very shiny hair that shines all kinds of colours in the sun!
Thank you for this post, I feel good about myself now!
Ashley x
Sewing has really helped me hone in on my various quirks, lumps and bumps. hehe! I know for me being able to sew has been really empowering since I don’t have to rely on what fits off the rack any more–I can fit it to myself instead!
♥ Casey
Hi Casey,
I love that you post pictures of yourself on your blog, and I especially love that you look so cheerful in them. I like to think of you as being happy in your skin, because you certainly look like it. Thank you for having the courage!
I like my pianist’s fingers, my big brown eyes, and my “mummy tummy:” I earned it carrying and giving birth to my amazing son.
Thank you so much, Galadriel! I think women should start viewing their post-baby tummies like you do: giving birth is an amazing feat and I think one should be proud of that instead of focusing on the usual “problem spots” that society tells us are “bad”.
♥ Casey
this is such an important and interesting issue! it is so sad how mean people can be when they are not face to face. luckily, no one has every said anything online, my blog hasn’t gotten enough readers yet! i’ve always struggled with my weight and my figure (broad shoulders, carries weight in belly), but i guess i am glad that my thighs and butt never get big! also, i like my auburn colored hair and fair skin.
Yeah, the anonymity of the internet really allows people to be quite cruel without the usual results of a face-to-face insult. It’s so sad!
Yay for auburn hair!
I’m actually trying to decide right now if I want to go back to a redhead (I dyed my hair with henna late last year) since it’s starting to fade from auburn to my natural color. 
hehe!
♥ Casey
Wonderful post. And beyond the “shame-free blogging” day, you and other readers might want to check out BlogHer’s year-long Own Your Beauty initiative for more conversations, support, and reasons to appreciate ourselves – and other women – for the authentic beauties we all are : http://www.blogher.com/own-your-beauty. Very inspirational.
As for me … I, like Kristina, have smaller-than-child-sized hands and boyish fingernails. But they are strong and can knead bread effectively without the assistance of an expensive KitchenAid, and I make great use of them in the kitchen! And I’m glad that my naturally way-too-curvy figure cannot be mistaken for that of the young boy whose fingernails mine resemble. As Casey noted, these hips are very useful for balancing heavy objects! And who doesn’t appreciate the warmth and comfort of being hugged by someone with a pillowy bosom?
Thanks so much for the link, Kristen!
I too have small, “farmer hands” (as I like to call them!) that are a far cry from the pretty hands we see in ads. I feel like it’s a constant battle to keep them presentable. But they’re great at doing a variety of hand work–whether it’s scrubbing a car or sewing! It took me years to even like them, but now I do.
♥ Casey
In addititon to “blogging without shame” I think we just need to learn to have manners, respect and just be nice to each other. I guess growing up and being told to be nice to others has stuck with me. You can always find something nice to say to someone, you may have to reach deep for it, but its there.
I’m well past young (remember things I did as a teen are vintage now:) ), and I’ve struggled with my weight for years. But I like my eyes and I’ve finally become comfortable with my freckles.
You always look so comfortable in the pictures of you modeling your outfits. I’m glad you were able to overcome the anorexia. You are a lovely young woman with a caring heart and it shows. I know your mom is very proud of you.
I couldn’t agree more about manner, Renee! I was always told “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all”–which I try to keep in mind at all times!
♥ Casey
oh casey, i have always thought you too cute for words! you are so pretty! i can’t believe *anyone* saying a bad word about your appearance! i have often wanted to ask you…”so how do you do it? what are your daily routines? do you have a workout routine that you stick to?” but now i’m getting off topic, aren’t i? i know i have issues with myself (why can’t my face be less round…i am always going to look like a little girl!) or why can’t my stomach just flatten? heehee. but generally i am pretty happy with myself. and whenever i hear someone telling me they are fat (99% of the time they are definitely not!!) i tell them to knock it off! i think it’s healthy to talk well of yourself and to appreciate the way you were made! and don’t even get me started on plastic surgery! yuck! i know my chest isn’t very large, but there are advantages to that. and although finding bras can be incredibly tricky for me, i have learned to like my flat chest. and white skin…and thick wavy hair and…
Aw, thank you ever so much Anna!
I’ve always thought you were so beautiful–I’ve always envied your ability to translate your look between modern and 19th century. 
I agree: it’s much healthier to focus on the good than bad–I always hate listening to other women put themselves and how they look in a bad light. So sad! 
(And yet I know how easy it is to slip into! I think our culture doesn’t deter but encourages this as well. Pretty disgusting when you think deeply about it. :p )
♥ Casey
I love my curves! While shopping at the mall has a tendency to make me feel self-conscious, sewing for myself has really helped me realize that it is the clothes and not me! I also like my nose. I think it’s cute. I have tiny wrists and, while I can’t wear bracelets made for grown up, they always make me feel dainty and girly.
Yay for sewing! I know that is one reason I really took up sewing with more fervor the past few years: I just hated how shopping ready to wear made me self conscious about how I didn’t seem to fit into any of the “typical” body shapes. Certainly makes having the clothes I like a lot easier!
♥ Casey
What a great post! I had been thinking about this issue as well. I even say about other bloggers why are their teeth crooked?! Couldn’t they get a dentist to help?! But thats alright they are beautiful despite flaws. Without flaws we would not be beautiful I believe! The way God made us is the way it should be.
One thing I love about my body is that I am pale. Alright that may sound strange, but I love having really white skin, although I do adore olive skin or dark skin on many of my friends and other bloggers. But I love having pale skin despite the fashion trend of tan. I also love my curly hair! Now I used to hate it, because it was so hard to take care of, but now I love it once I figured out what styles work for my hair. New hair style coming soon with photos on my blog btw.
Great post Casey!
In Christ,
Rebecca
“Without flaws we would not be beautiful I believe! The way God made us is the way it should be.”
I agree!
♥ Casey
I’ve never been shamed online but I have been in person. Most of the time I ignore it but sometimes I do think about it which is a bad thing. The few things I do like are my hair, my eyes, and my long legs and that’s about it. And by the way I really think your hair is pretty and I don’t think you should straighten it.
Aw, I’m so sorry that people have been mean to you!
It’s hard not to let those sorts of jabs get to you… I know! 
♥ Casey
Casey, you go. You are a superb and wonderful image of a beautiful and capable woman. We are not Droids. Our differences and even our perceived “flaws” are often our most endearing qualities. Thank you for sharing tour beauty with us.
hehe! I like your analogy of the droids!
rofl.
♥ Casey
This is such a great post. As a blogger, and a relatively new one ( I have been blogging for little over a year), I have never experienced any insults regarding my physical appearance, and I consider myself lucky. Regardless of that, I know that a lot of bloggers have experienced such abuse, which seems ridiculous, to say the least.
As far as my body goes, I used to feel terrible about it, but now I am at a point where I love myself the way I am: my big bottom, and wide thighs, small waist and not so perfect skin.
Because that is who I am; what makes me.
I think it’s something too that tends to target specific sorts of bloggers and mediums. Like I said, I haven’t gotten a ton of meanie comments here, but have noticed more coming through my YouTube videos. Whereas this blog covers a variety of topics, but videos are more beauty-based. Here’s hoping you never get any mean comments!
♥ Casey
i love my legs! i don’t have model-thin, long legs, but they are strong and muscular and i like having a bit of heft to my thighs
the only “shaming” thing anyone has said about me online is being called fat. or they’ll dip in the opposite direction and accuse me of being ~ana~. it’s pretty obvious that i’m not either of those so it doesn’t really bother me. some people just like to be mean for the sake of being mean.
anyway, i think you are the cutest thing and don’t let anyone ever make you feel bad about yourself! you are a beautiful person, inside & out!
Thanks so much for your lovely comment, Lauren!
Isn’t it weird how trolls will go from one extreme to another when it comes to critiquing others? Ugh!
♥ Casey
Good for you! I needed a reminder to love what I have, thank you.
So glad you enjoyed this post, Anna!
♥ Casey
What a lovely and encouraging post Casey! Ive had a few rude comments, but one that really made me feel self conscience was about my eye brows and being too modest. Its silly, but it took me a few days to bounce back from such a comment!
I have wavy hair too and always felt self conscience about it in high school, but now I realize it’s awesome and it holds great curls!
Thank you so much, Amber, for your comment!
That’s too bad that people have critiqued you on those points–particularly the modesty issue! I can totally understand being a bit low after that; it’s tough not to take those sorts of things personally. (Wish I knew the secret!)
♥ Casey
I think you are one of the loveliest people I know over the Net- you are a very beautiful woman!
You know, I have been journaling and blogging about my costumes and clothes since 2005, or so, and only just recently got my first nasty comment. A picture of me in my last pair of 18th century stays rendered the comment “vulgar and disgusting”. I’m not overly upset about it, but it did make me think. I probably show the same % of breast than any woman in stays, but as the starting point is that I have large breast and even if the % is the same, the amount is bigger. But somehow I don’t think a woman with small breasts would get such a comment. For some people large breasts ARE vulgar and disgusting, no matter if they are natural breasts.
I struggled with my looks for years after being badly bullied in school about my looks. Nowadays I like my face, but for a long time I saw only a very ugly girl when I looked in the mirror.
So what do I like about my looks. A lot, actually. I like my eyes, they have a pretty shape and they look like they are smiling. I like my cheekbones- always have, even in my worst day. I like my smile. I like and feel proud over my skin- I will be 41 in two days time, but my skin is still happily enjoying its early 30′s. And yes, I like my breasts, even if they make fitting a horror, becasue they are a part of me and we have had a lot of fun together.
I hate those degrading remarks- usually cowardly anonymous. Why is it that people with a very narrow frame for what can be called beautiful, also seems to be those who are most aggresive to those who looks different.
Yikes. That is so terrible that someone left a comment like that on your stays pictures! :p I’m always somewhat mystified by those sorts of comments on posts involving historic fashion undies. I mean–if someone thinks it’s vulgar, than why are they looking? lol.
Anyway, I think you’re gorgeous! Many the time I’ve look at your posts and thought you were beautiful and suited whatever era you were dressed up in.
♥ Casey
Indeed. And I don’t exactly go around flashing my stays at events either.
Thank you!
With regards to this issue, the only person who has been shamed is the twit who made such a thoughless and idiotic comment ….
What I love most about myself is my inner self – it’s sound, happy and healthy and so gives me the confidence to express myself how I like, the common sence to accept the things about my physical self that do not tick the “perfection” boxes set by modern day society, the motivation to be kind, creative and positive and the insight to see how beautiful others who are happy with their inner self are.
I think you brought up a great point about loving your inside as much as your outside! In some ways, I think it’s even more important because it helps with the exterior struggles that one sometimes faces.
♥ Casey
I have been following your blog for a while now, but this is my first time posting. This entry was really nice to read, because we all have days when we hate the way we look, but we have to learn to get past that and love who we are. And I always think that people who post their pictures have a lot of confidence and guts, because it takes courage to put yourself out there like that.
As for things I like about myself:
1. Hair that pretty much never needs work. I just wash and dry. And when it gets mussed up, and all I need to do is shake it back into place. Perfect for lazy me.
2. Looking young. With a baby face, it can be a little irritating at times, but now that I have hit twenty-five, looking a couple years younger is not so bad.
3. Having a helpful body. It tells me when it needs rest, when it needs food, and in really obvious and consistent ways, so I always know what I need to keep myself healthy (like at least 8 hours of sleep and a snack every 4 hours). It is also very forgiving, so that when I have not been so healthy, I bounce back fast.
Thanks for posting about this topic Casey! It was great.
Thank you so much for commenting, Mala! (And “hello!” since this is your first!
)
hehe… I loved your point about your body being helpful and reminding you to take care of yourself! The joke in my family is that I have to stay well-fed to keep me going–and it’s the truth! No food=no energy.
lol. It’s regular meals and snacks between for me!
♥ Casey
I have thighs like a draft horse but they come with fantastic, muscular, 1940′s pin-up-girl calves. I just bought my first almost-mini-skirt pattern because I’m 33 and only now comfortable enough to even think of wearing something that doesn’t cover my knees. (Admittedly, I’ll probably never wear it out of the house, but we all do the best we can, right?)
I love my lips, and I have the best neck I’ve ever seen. Man, can I wear turtlenecks!
Total strangers have told me I have cute ears.
I was bullied about my looks when I was in middle school; I’m very pear-shaped, wear thick glasses, have limp hair, and had very bad acne that started unusually early. Yes, I know there are dermatologists for that, but I swear I tried every cream, lotion, wash, antibiotic, Acutane, everything, on the market. Sometimes my face was broken out and chemical burned at the same time. Miraculously, my skin is rough but I escaped severe scarring (I have no idea how; maybe it was the peeling caused by all those horrible topical treatments?), but I still can’t stand to have people look me directly in the face for fear of how I look to them. I don’t wear makeup because I’m absolutely terrified it will cause me to break out again, and I will literally turn and run if I see you coming at me with a camera.
Thankfully, we moved between my sixth and seventh grade years, or I would have had to go all the way through high school with a group of kids who humiliated me on a daily basis. I’m not kidding; starting over in a new state when I was thirteen was probably one of the best things that ever happened to me.
Thank you so much for sharing this!
I always think of the times adults told me growing up that children were far crueler than adults when it came to bullying and making fun of other’s looks. And it’s true–coupled with highschool and the usual insecurities! :p
I love how you characterize your legs as “40s pin up” legs!!!
Hooray for pin ups! hehe!
♥ Casey
On a day where I am feeling a bit down and unhappy with myself, this is a difficult thing for me to do. I originally was going to just read everyone’s comments and not add my own, but I thought perhaps it would be helpful in some way if I participated. So, here goes my best shot…..I have struggled with my weight most of my life and am, as Steph described it, voluptuous. Though I have had my share of unkind comments over the years because of it, I am now somewhat accepting of it, athough my focus is now moving more toward health issues and the way I feel physically. My hair is thin and fine and I am no “beauty” as the world sees it. Yet, I am thankful for the eyes I have to see, the ears I have to hear (including those special eyes and ears God gives moms), and the strong arms and back I have that are capable of making pizza, kneading bread, scrubbing floors, giving hugs, and carrying a sleeping child up to bed (though that last one is getting harder and harder on my, as my children are getting bigger!). My “mummy tummy” will never be “flat”, but the Lord used it to knit together 3 beautiful girls. I am far heavier than I was when I married, but my husband still tells me he loves me and that I am beautiful. My husband and children think I look just fine without make-up and in jeans and a t-shirt.. Most importantly, my God created me in His own image and His Son chose to die for my sins….With all that love, what care I what the world has to say about my looks?…………………………..(sigh) I feel a little better already. Time to pick myself up, dust myself off, learn from my mistakes, and continue on in the life the Lord has given me……………..And get back to that pizza I was making!!!
Thank you, Casey! Lots of love comin’ your way!
A lot of people look but only a few actually “see.” Ya know? Hurrah to you and Ayra for campaigning and for all your lovely commenters today.
1. I have fabulous, if very white, legs. Thanks, Mom, for their awesome shape and the fine, fair hair that lets me go for days without shaving.
2. My eyebrows are very nicely shaped.
3. I have pretty feet.
4. My collar bone and shoulders make all my tops and dresses look lovely.
I like the oddness of my teeth and the shape of my nose. It’s long and have a bump on the top, but I think it gives my face character. I like that I’ve got a rounded shape now, that I’m not angular as when I was a teenager. I’m glad I’ve come to terms with all the things I got pointed out when I was younger, and that I’m even liking most of them.
The mean spirit of the kind of remarks you mentioned are really tragic. I feel sorry for the ones that gets them, and I feel a little sorry for the people making them as well. They must be very insecure to feel they have to apply their world view and their values on everybody they see. Even strangers on the internet.
Love your blog, please keep the good things coming!
Casey, I’ve had no comments on line, but I am doing a blog post soon about wearing vintage in public, just need the pictures taken. I have felt some pain with not fitting into our world based on my clothing choices. Unfortunately, our society struggles with variety in people. It’s the one thing I adore. I love differences, I don’t care much for more of the same. I don’t get my nails done, wear jeans all the time and flat iron my hair, sure I have friends that do, well all my friends do, but what’s interesting is they love my “out of touch” ways. I like my small waist the best. I like my smile and still don’t know what I want to do with my hair. Beauty is all around us, in ways we can’t see, it’s unfortunate because we lose every time our value of others only goes skin deep. There’s so much more.
Such a great post Casey.
).
– don’t ever change.
I’m so sorry to hear that you have struggled with anorexia. I too have struggled with it (from age 13 till when I had my first child at 31. I nearly died from it when I was 17. Still have distorted body image and issues with it on and off now). It’s a horrible disease which I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.
It is so sad to hear that people are being so critical of others physiques in the blogging world. Every person is different, unique, and beautiful in their own way. If we all looked ‘perfect ‘and the same what a boring and uninteresting place the world would be!
In regards to what I like about myself, I would have to say my eyes (they are what I get complimented on most). They are big, and very vibrant green with a hint of blue. And my husband says I have awesome legs and ankles ( I can thank my Non for the genes for that
I think you are beautiful Casey,stunning actually, and if anyone else tells you otherwise they are crazy. You are gorgeous inside and out
I love that you posted about this! Fortunately I have never been shamed online about the way that I look. I think it’s particularly cruel for people to stoop that low, knowing that we all have our own insecurities. Clearly the trolls have them most of all, or they wouldn’t need to put others down to feel better about themselves.
There is a lot I don’t like when I think about my body, but I think my best feature is my smile. I don’t mind that my teeth are crooked (in spite of braces in high school!), or that my lips aren’t quite as full as I’d like. I’m always willing to give a big smile and it’s never fake!
Beauty is so subjective, and not many of us fit some cookie cutter mold of what our society says is beautiful. Our bodies are made for living, for moving, they are spectacular in what they can do. We should love them for what they are. I was skinny/scrawny as a child-tall too-and teased a lot. As an adult, I am now….thick. Curvy and muscular and proud of my shape. My lips are thin, but I love my red red lipstick-don’t care that I “shouldn’t” wear it-I like it and that’s just it.
Great post, and for what it is worth I think you are lovely, inside and out!
Beautiful post, Casey! I’ve also noticed a rise in critical comments, which is part of why I rarely include images of myself on my blog… I’m sad to see that they’re on the rise. No one ever, ever deserves to be picked on like that!
I’ve never liked not being very fair (being part Italian but looking all Italian), but trying to embrace it more.
I also struggled with my weight in my early 20s and still sometimes have self-image issues on a bad day
I like my eyes and long eyelashes and little feet (it makes it easier to find vintage shoes!)
You seem like such a lovely person inside and out, Casey! Thank you for this post!
Thanks for the post, Casey! I’ve only had one nasty comment, thankfully, but it was very discouraging for a while. It’s so disheartening to see anonymous snarky commentson blogs.
Hmmm… thinking about it, I’d have to say that my favourite things about myself are the things other people have commented negatively on
I love my natural blonde curly hair. I’m constantly told I should straighten it as well, but I look like another person when my curls disappear! I also love my larger hips, my small waist and my pale, freckly skin.
Wow, really? I must be living in a happy little blogger bubble. And Casey, you are so tiny and shapely, I can’t believe people can find anything to criticize. Not that trolls need a reason, I suppose, other than jealousy.
I like my legs. They’re long, shapely, and not too thin.
I’ve never been shamed online, mostly because I don’t post pictures of myself very often.
Another facet of shame-free blogging I’d love to see is a day when bloggers don’t shame *themselves*. I see an awful lot of perfectly lovely people posting photos of themselves with lengthy disclaimers about how the readers should ignore their “ugly face,” “bad hair,” “stupid expression,” “rubbish clothes,” etc. It makes me sad. Let’s try to stop.
Beautiful post. I have struggled with anorexia in the not so distant past too, and it is only now that I feel the small beginnings of confidence with myself and my body. I like my pale skin, and my unruly hair…and i love my eye colour
And P.S. You are beautiful!
I rarely comment on anyone’s blog and also infrequently read others’ comments, so I am astounded that people actually comment on another person’s blog something negative about their appearance! It’s crazy how some people have complete lack of grace.
I so appreciate your blog and your style and think you are beautiful and perfectly proportioned. We all have insecurities about ourselves and I think that those who are the most comfortable with themselves tend to see the true beauty in others.
I am thankful for my wavy/curly hair that loves humidity, since I live in Georgia!
What a wonderful blog post for today. So far I count myself extremely lucky not to have any of the negative, internet trolls comment so harshly, on my site. I don’t see any of the flaws that you mentioned about yourself; and I think you to be a very thoughtful, beautiful person (inside and out).
Only as I’ve gotten older, have I learned to love my unique-ness. I’m a total shorty (4’11″) with the build of someone who is much taller (ie full hips, booty, and thighs), but I’ve come to be proud of my strong (full) thighs, itty bitty feet, and young face. But truly, it’s my mother who taught me that it’s better to attract those who like you for ‘you’ than those who like you for what you look like. And as a result I’ve been lucky enough to find a hubby who loves me for me (and also likes my form).
What an amazing post, Casey.
I have been noticing the snarky comments in bloggin’ land of late aswell, and it makes me a bit anxious and reserved to blog about personal things. I am – even to disbelief of others – a very, very insecure girl and I always have been, and I am terrified of criticism. I am still struggle’ing to accept the way I look. Unfortunatly it’s not a compliment fishing thing of which many think it is. I’ve seeked help for this, and I am heading in the right direction.
It really inspires me what you write about yourself, and that you have accepted yourself the way you are. I hope that, one day I can say this about myself, too.
Anyhow, you are a very beautiful woman. You are creative, unique and very sweet – from what I’ve read. You are you, and that makes you beautiful!
Thanks for posting this!
You inspired me to write a post about this subject this week aswell, and I would like to link back to your post if that’s ok with you!
Then: what I love about myself?
The only thing that comes up in my mind are my freckles and eyebrows, they both have character!
xx
Lindsay
Casey I have always thought you to be so beautiful with your pretty skin and long curly hair it’s so gorgeous and your tiny body. What ever someone said was jealous I’m sure. The Hollywood perfect look is for the screen and not real, even those women are not real and have had touch ups and work done to make them more perfect. Sad really, you and I are real and we’re happy with it, if others don’t like it they need not look.
What a wonderful post…I wish my female students (4th-6th graders) could read some of these comments. Back when I was a pre-teen/teenager I had SUCH issues with my body shape. I am not thin and boy-like in shape (which was the goal in the mid 90′s). I have curves….lots of them…and all over. It wasn’t until recently, maybe the past 5 or 6 years, that I’ve learned to appreciate the female shape that I’ve been given. I might be a little soft in the middle, but if you look back over drawings and paintings of the past 3000+ years of society, it wasn’t until the last 70 years that ‘thin’ was in. I like to think of my looks (and curves) as being classical, historic, and romantic.
Wow, thank you for this post, Casey. It really made me think. Self confidence is something that I have struggled with for my whole like. For my whole life, in every neighborhood I have lived in, in every school I have attended and even every place i have worked I have always been a visible minority among a much greater majority. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I can never look like a standard, North American beauty, and no matter how hard I could try to be like others, I would always be the brown girl.
Now I’ve learned to love my differentness, and love many things about my body shape, and the colour of my skin. I look exotic, and don’t look out of place in a sari (although I have one worn one twice). I have never had a sunburn. I love my curvy bum and hips as they look fantastic in a pair of fitted jeans. I love my naturally narrow (if a bit protruding) waist. I love my thick, soft, black, perfect curls (even if my hair is a nightmare in upkeep) and I even love my small and slightly saggy breasts, since they proved to be ample and sufficient to nourish my two kids when they were babies.
I love my big eyes and full lips. I even love my big round nose, as it connects me to my extended family (seriously, we all have the same nose)
Learning to love ourselves, and reminding ourselves what we love best about ourselves is a great way to deal with all the crappy messages we encounter daily. Perhaps if we can accept ourselves, we will realize that we don’t need anyone else to accept us.
You go girl! I want you to know that I think you’re truly gorgeous.
I’ve always struggled with my weight. I won’t lie I still do today, almost everyday. I’m really trying to work on that.
So here’s to my big ears, small boobs, and thick legs! xo
hi casey,
i’ve been reading your blog for quite some time now, but never commented – but as you all can see, i felt like doing it now!
just wanted to say that you are a big inspiration to me, especially with beauty and style! when i read what you wrote about your hair i almost wanted to laugh – i’ve always wanted big, thick, long hair like yours (so romantic and pretty!) instead of my own frizzy, curly and thin hair. which just shows how silly you can be, and that which you, or someone around you can find “ugly” about yourself, might be that that someone else wants more than anything!
i’ve had a severe acne problem all my teens, and kept thinking that everyone was disgusted by the way my face looked. but lately i’ve been thinking, shouldn’t we all just try and come to terms with ourselves and forget the traditional mould of being “pretty”? maybe it’s just age (this i write at the ripe old age of 22!) but i have come to find that i’d rather be intresting and unique, rather that to fit into someone elses idea of how i should look, to be considered “pretty” or “cute”. as i think natalie portman said, “‘cute’ is a word i’ve always resented being called. ‘cute’ is something you call your pet”
and we’re not pets, are we? we’re individuals.
so maybe we should enjoy beauty and pretty things and hairstyles and clothes, but stop trying to make ourselves be or look any other way then we do.
keep up the good work, i so enjoy reading your blog!!
lots of love
Casey – good for you for taking a stand against such shameful behavior! Women are all beautiful, as that is how we are created – and beauty extends beyond the boundaries of what the media tells us.
I for one, love who I am. Yes, I have from time to time struggled with the fact the I will never have a perfectly proportioned body according to what the world tells me. BUT, that is not my standard of beauty anyhow. I love how I have really strong red/pink undertones in my skin so my cheeks always looks flush and full of life. I’m 5’4″ and that is the perfect height for me. I also have blue/green eyes that change towards one color or the other depending on what I am wearing – how cool is that?
Ladies, you are all lovely. Let your beauty be defined by your love of self for who you – not who you think you should be.
Thanks Casey. And to echo what others have said, you are totally beautiful and a great source of inspiration.
This was such a lovely post Casey, and so important! It’s so strange that women have had to endure critique about their bodies for what seams forever. The modern blogosphere doesn’t make it any easier, although I’ve been fortunate enough to not have any ill-messages yet. Growing up I was always teased about my fuller figure, which led me to just eating even more. Fortunately I met some wonderful people after graduating high school and through those wonderful new friends (and family!) I’ve learned to gradually love the way I am. My arms and legs are heavy, I sure don’t have gazelle legs, but I do have a small waist which I love. I also love my eyebrows because they’re a trademark of my family and my thick hair, even though I never really know what to do with it (lol!).
You’re such a beautiful woman Casey! And your smile (and laugh) brightens up any grey day!
What a great post, Casey!
I’ve been lucky enough to not ever have seen any rude comments like that on the blogs I read. For what it’s worth, I think you’re gorgeous and my husband does, too.
Whenever you post photos of your outfits, I have to tell him to come look because he’s got a little crush on you.
I’m curvy, as they say, but I’m happy to have a small waist for my size, great skin and a pretty face. I was just reading about Adele and how her curvy body doesn’t bother her at all. I hope to get to that point someday but I’ll start with those few things!
Well, at this time of year as our UK summer approaches, I usually feel a sense of dread at showing my bingo wings in all those pretty dresses, and I run a mile at the thought of ever wearing a pair of shorts (even longish ones!) again. I have a flabby tummy after 3 cesearean sections, extra padding in all the wrong places, and that’s only to mention a few of the ‘imperfections’ that society would label me with. I sometimes look in the mirror and sigh, thinking how nice it would be to walk into a store and to be able to pick whatever item I fancied, to try it on, and give myself a thumbs up. For a long time I have let the world dictate how I should feel about my own body, but thankfully I am learning to accept that I am who I am, a one-off, a person with my very own sense of style and tastes. My tastes might not be to everybody elses, but I am having so much fun dressing up in the clothes that I like, experimenting with different styles, even eras, expressing who I am. And frankly, that’s what brings me joy right now. Knowing that I am comfortable in my own body, with all it’s wrinkles, dimples, wobbles and stretchmarks. The challenge for me is making the best of what God has blessed me with, and having fun whilst doing it. The weight that drops off your shoulders when you accept yourself, warts and all, is far more liberating than the weight you might think you need to lose to be the perfect size. I might not fit into that box of ‘perfection’, but who decides the criteria anyway? Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder,right?
So, all you lovely lasses out there, like what you behold, embrace every inch of yourself, and let no person stick a label on you. You are precious and loved by someone. It starts with you.
Thank you Casey for being such a great example of femininity and womanhood to all of us, and for inspiring us with your blog.
FIrst of all, Casey, you’re adorable and shouldn’t let anything anyone says affect you. It takes a strong person to make it through something like that, and I’m so happy that you’ve been able to learn to appreciate yourself. From what I can see there’s really nothing not to like! You always look great.
Second, to all you slightly hippy ladies out there, I think that is the most adorable shape in the world and if I were going to trade bodies with anyone it would be one of you. A friend of mine was talking about being embarrassed by her (what she sees as less than perfectly toned) thighs. All I could think was, “What!? You’ve got a great body! The one I always wanted!” She’s really beautiful and I told her so.
So on to myself. For the first 17 years of my life I didn’t feel very good about myself. I was always just a bit on the chubby side (although my mom denies it), and on top of that was the kind of quirky, nerdy girl in my class. Not weird enough to hang out with the really geeky kids, but far from pretty and cool enough for the popular crowd. I still never really felt comfortable with myself all through high school. I was frequently the “skinny” friend at that point, but was still the only one not getting attention from boys. Needless to say that didn’t really help my self esteem very much. My senior year I spent a few months at art school in CA and was transformed on numerous levels. For the first time I really felt good about myself; I felt pretty. Since then I’ve learned to really love myself. I like my hair, it grows quickly, there’s plenty of it and it’s generally pretty cooperative. I like my eyes. They change colors a little bit, usually green but sometimes blue or greyish. I’ve got fabulous collar bones if I do say so myself, and I also think I’ve got great legs. I danced for several years when I was younger and they’ve always been pretty muscular. I think I have pretty feet, too, even though my toes are long, and I’ve been blessed with very straight teeth (never had braces or anything).
I think it’s wonderful for people to take the time to examine themselves like this. Everyone should feel good about themselves, even if you have to start small. Find one thing you like or are proud of and keep reminding yourself of it. You’re all very talented and should never feel like you’re not good enough.
Thanks for the fresh burst of positivity!
What a great post! And something many of us need to think about every once in a while.
I’m the same as you and fought my body weight for so long. I was under weight in primary school, hit high school where I ballooned, went to university where I was under weight again then finally gave up fighting it and have been a happy weight for a few years now. Its amazing how when I just stopped fighting and ate what I wanted, exercised when I wanted etc, how my body naturally got to where it needed to be and stayed there. Sure, I still dislike that bit of tummy that sticks out and my nose could be a little less ‘ski jump’ at the end, but I’m happy with how I look.
In regards to horrid comments, I’ve recieved a few, felt incredibly hurt, deleted them and not paid them any attention. That’s all you really can do, as commenting back (if you can, because most of the time I find they are annonymous) is really just a waste of time, and I wonder sometimes if they are looking for a fight because they are angry about themselves and need to feel justified?
Anyway, I’ve been reading your blog for as long as I’ve been reading fashion blogs and you are one of the most honest and creative bloggers out there and I hope you continue to blog and inspire for many years to come!
XX
Jen
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